Francis & Lisa Chan’s “You and Me Forever”

chanFrancis and Lisa Chan’s book, “You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity,” is a departure from most marriage books out there. The underlying message throughout the book is simply this; the best way to improve your marriage is not by focusing on your marriage, but by focusing on your Christian faith. In other words, the natural fruit of two people pursuing God as the Bible calls them to is a united, healthy marriage. In their words, “unity is the natural result of two people following one Spirit in a life devoted to the mission.” (Kindle location 1242)

I really like the book; I’ve read quite a few marriage books over the years. Most give traditional advice on building better practices, communication, ways to strengthen the relationship, usually with some side comments on the importance of pursuing God – but generally not as the core message of the book. To me, this is where the Chans have met a real need in the church with their book. They write, “Our marriage problems are not really marriage problems. They are heart problems. They are God problems. Our lack of intimacy with God causes a void that we try to fill with the frailest of substitutes. Like wealth or pleasure. Like fame or respect. Like people. Like marriage.” (Kindle location 227)

Having said that, they do tackle some practical relationship areas; learning to communicate and fight well, giving a message of hope, advice on parenting together, and a call to really make the marriage count. One of their challenges is rooted in the passages that describe the church’s relationship with Christ as a marriage; that “we are called to paint such an attractive picture of marriage that it causes people to long for the coming marriage with Jesus.” (Kindle location 566)

I thought it was well written; if you’re familiar with Francis Chan’s book “Crazy Love,” it almost felt like this is Crazy Love for Marriage. His (and his wife’s) passion for calling people to an all-in pursuit of Christ comes through loud and clear in all of his writings. It’s a shorter book, an easy read, and comes with questions at the end of each of the seven chapters for couples to discuss together. It’s definitely worth checking out for those who are married or for those headed to marriage.

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