2022 Student Missions Reports

Yesterday was our annual student missions report Sunday! This year we had 91 students and adults participate in our three trips. The highlight for Heather and I, though, was our three sons in the video above. Zach shared about his experience on the Niagara Falls trip (YouthWorks), Noah shared about his experience on the Blue […]

2021 Writing in Review

2021 is coming to a close … and it has gone by fast! I continue to have a lot of fun creating youth ministry resources. 2021 saw seven curriculum resources published and 29 game and/or media resources published, all through Download Youth Ministry. I also wrote an update to my chapter in the Youth Cartel’s book, Youth Ministry in This Season of Disruption. Heather and I wrote the Insta Devo resource together, as well as worked together on the Caption Challenge games. My youngest, Zach, was the brains behind both of the Dare Tag games. And I learned that if you make fun of Boomers (Boomer Say What), it will become your most popular game of the year. Click the images below to check them out!

Curriculum

Joshua_Strong_and_Courageous_blog  Judges_title  Elijah's_Showdown  Freedom_from_Fear_thumbnail  United_In_Mission_thumbnail  God_with_the_Fearful_thumbnail 

Games & Media

Christmas Movie Trivia title  The Naughty List title image  New Years Times Square Trivia title image  Can You See It - Take Me to the Movies  Deadly Animals title  DadOrGrad_blog    Dare Tag Messy Edition thumbnail    boomer2    Gen X'er Say What thumbnail  Gen X'er Say What Vol2 title image  Cowboy Say What thumbnail  Pirate Say What title image  Aussie Say What thumbnail        Caption_Challenge_Summer_Vacation_thumbnail  caption challenge mega bundle  Caption_Challenge_BTS_title  caption challenge trick or treat  Black Widow   Strange Holidays Summer Bundle  Strange Holidays June title  Scripture Video 4 Pack Vol3 title  3 pack

Christmas Party Game List

Over the last week, our student ministry has done both of our middle school and high school Christmas parties! For us, that means time to hang out, Christmas cookies, and a lot of group games! We decorate our gym with a lot of Christmas colored lights, Christmas music, and Christmas inflatables (giant Santas – stuff you would put in your front yard – it’s easy to set up and tear down!). It’s a night all about fun! Two things we added this year that we haven’t done in previous years:

  • We bought a Christmas photo backdrop! This was GREAT. Everyone wanted to get photos in front of it! I brought a nice camera, which meant everyone was good with me taking the photos! Here’s the backdrop we got.
  • We called it an Ugly Sweater Christmas Party … and SO MANY kids wore festive outfits. It was amazing!

Overall, the games were a hit and we had a blast. Here’s what we played, which group played it (they all would work both groups … I have fun changing it up), and the links to find them:

  • Santa’s Naughty List; Middle and High School. This one just released! It’s a ‘Wheel of Destiny’ game on Sidekick that comes up with punishments (Christmas themed dares) for kids who end up on Santa’s Naughty List!
  • Santa’s Feud; Middle and High School. Using the ‘Survey Says’ app in Sidekick, I put together a ‘Family Feud’ style Christmas game. This has become a tradition at our Christmas party – kids LOVE it! There are a couple great ones already on the DYM store.
  • Exchange It! Middle and High School. A new twist on the classic White Elephant game! Using the wheel of destiny, kids are rotated all around the room until you decide to let them open the presents! I modified the different cues to line up with my group more, but this game is a winner.
  • Christmas Movie Trivia; Middle School. A fun Christmas movie trivia game I made this year.
  • First to Ten Christmas Edition; Middle School. These games are always a winner – I love that it’s one that involves the whole room.
  • Elf on the Shelf 3; Middle School. Perfect for that crowd.
  • Would You Rather Holly Jolly Edition; Middle School. This was a fun way to get everyone moving and talking.
  • Christmas Movie Madness; High School. I love this game! I played it with the whole room; kids threw their hands up if they knew the answer, I called the first one I saw, and if they were right they got candy.
  • Jingle Battles volume 2; High School. Stupid fun, which is my kind of fun. I had everyone stand up, move to the side of the room they thought would win, and then sit down if they were wrong. It took about five rounds to get to one winner!

My Christmas Resources!

I have a handful of Christmas resources that I have created – and a couple that Heather created with me – that may be useful during this time of year! The images below are all links to where they are located on the Download Youth Ministry store. Check them out!

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God With the Fearful is a one-off Christmas message based on Matthew 1:18-25 focusing on God’s promises to Joseph to save him and be with him in his fear. It includes a message manuscript, handouts, discussion questions, PowerPoint file, and images for social media.

  Christmas Movie Trivia title  

Hashtag Sleigh Ride, Christmas Movie Trivia, and Caption Challenge Christmas Edition are all games that can be played in person or online. Hashtag Sleigh Ride and Caption Challenge Christmas Edition both include versions for Instagram as well! Heather and I co-authored Hashtag Sleigh Ride and Caption Challenge Christmas Edition.

 

Strange Holidays is a fun collection of seasonal social media images and challenges that can be used, one per week, for the months of December, January, and February! The Christmas Scripture Video five pack has five typography videos with Christmas related scripture passages – at $6 for all five videos, it’s an incredible deal! They are all licensed to be used in person and online, so they can be used as worship elements, or even just social media videos in the buildup to Christmas. See the video below to see what they are:

Why All-Nighters?

All-Nighters take me out for days. Sore muscles, foggy brain, exhausted body. Is it worth it?

I remember years ago reading a survey of thousands of teens from youth groups around the country; when it came to popular fun events, all-nighters were ahead of the competition by a landslide. Based on my experience, the results would be the same today if they did that survey again. And it makes sense; think back to when you were thirteen, fifteen years old – being able to say you stayed up all night was exciting, it was cool, it was something to brag to your friends about. It was a sort of test of endurance.

Why is it worth it? These events are over the top and exciting for adolescents. They’re cool, and the critical ministries we want kids in week after week become cool by association. Teens may not think of it in terms like that, but the over the top events like retreats and all-nighters do create a reputation of being the place to be – I want teens bragging to their friends about the events we do, I want them posting on their social media about it. All-nighters are an investment, both financially and physically, in our Wednesday night small groups and Sunday morning large group ties.

Here’s the thing, we do that same kind of attractional event for adults, don’t we? Concerts, picnics, holiday parties – we may use language like fellowship to explain their value, but at the core it’s the same, isn’t it? Our church becomes exciting to our adult crowd in part because of these concerts, picnics and parties. They may not be spelled out in the Bible, but we see the Biblical value in doing them. The same is true of all-nighters.

They’re not just about fun, there is real, ongoing value to doing them. They are a powerful investment in the critical ministry that happens in our small groups and Sunday mornings.

Another Book Review Roundup

Some more short takes on four books I’ve read recently:

Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood, Lisa Damour. I really appreciate Dr. Damour’s books about teenage girls. In Untangled, she does a great job of helping the reader to understand the critical steps an adolescent girl needs to take as she heads toward adulthood, as well as give parents tools to both understand what is happening and how to help guide that process. She gives great advice, challenges readers to help guide young women to confidence and assertiveness, and helps navigate healthy approaches to processing emotions. One thing that jumped out at me as a parent of four adolescent boys was the concept of externalization; “a technical term describing how teenagers sometimes manage their feelings by getting their parents to have their feelings instead.” (p.85) In other words, it’s too overwhelming to feel the frustration, fear, or anger in a situation so they let their parents feel it instead – something I recognize in hindsight happening all the time with my teens and other teens! Definitely a good book for anyone parenting adolescent girls or working with adolescent girls. Strongly recommend!

How (NOT) to Read the Bible: Making Sense of the Anti-Women, Anti-Science, Pro-Violence, Pro-Slavery and Other Crazy-Sounding Parts of Scripture, Dan Kimball. Spoiler alert: I will be recommending this book this summer to those who attend our Summer Series class on the Bible called “The Book.” Kimball did a great job creating a solid resource for Christians on understanding the Bible, how we got it, the different cultural and contextual impacts in understanding it, and how to read it in our modern culture. I don’t land in the same place as he does in every question he tackles, but the areas where I would take a different approach are ones where we can still be in unity in our pursuit of God despite our different interpretations. It’s a great introduction to many of the topics that confuse or frustrate readers of the Bible. His writing style makes it readable for adults and teens. Definitely worth checking out!

The Making of Biblical Womanhood, Beth Allison Barr. Dr. Barr, an associate professor of history at University of North Carolina, and the associate dean of the Graduate School at Baylor University, put together a compelling work with this book. She writes, “Patriarchy exists in the Bible because the Bible was written in a patriarchal world. Historically speaking, there is nothing surprising about biblical stories and passages riddled with patriarchal attitudes and actions. What is surprising is how many biblical passages and stories undermine, rather than support, patriarchy.” (p.36) Barr does a thorough job of addressing questions around the role of women and the Bible’s stance, the roots of patriarchy, and what place is has today. She used her expertise in ancient cultures to shed new light on controversial passages in scripture that was fascinating. Regardless of where you stand on the topic of women’s roles in church and ministry, this is an important book to read and process.

Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free, Linda Kay Klein. This is one of those books that I highlighted my way through. So. Many. Highlights. Granted, what Klein calls out is exactly what I grew up in – and drove me away from the faith for a season of my life. On page 14, while introducing the book, Klein writes, “The purity message is not about sex. Rather, it is about us: who we are, who we are expected to be, and who it is said we will become if we fail to meet those expectations. This is the language of shame.” Through interviews, her own story, and extensive research, Klein does an incredible job of mapping out both the issues around the topic of purity culture and the damage brought by it. It was the first time I read the term “Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS),” which mimics PTSD, and a host of other similar disorders, but I recognized it immediately in what I and many of my peers experienced. I think what she has written is important and well worth reading.

Twenty Years

Twenty years. It goes by fast.

In March, 2001, I became a full time youth pastor.

Heather and I had been married for a handful of months and had just found out we were expecting our first child. He would end up being two days old at our first anniversary – definitively NOT part of our five year plan, but we like him so it turn out okay. My youth group at the time thought they had input in naming him and seemed to think “Cletus the Fetus” was a legitimate option. We politely declined. You’re welcome, Micah. Now he’s in college and some of those teens have kids closing in on youth group age. It goes by fast.

We have four sons total. There was a brief window last summer where they were all in the youth group at the same time; our youngest moved up to sixth grade, our oldest hadn’t left for college yet. Having my own kids in the group is amazing. I like to joke with other youth pastors that it’s like having my own brutally honest focus group.

I feel like I should be listing all of the things I’ve learned over the years. Honestly, though, it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. I’m still learning, I’m still figuring it out, I’m still wrapping my mind around what youth ministry is.

As a parent of teens now, I have to confess that young youth pastor me would have driven current me crazy. Lousy communication, last minute notice about events, a little too confident at times. I had a lot to learn.

But there’s also an incredible nostalgia that comes with watching the old videos from those days and looking at the photos. It was such an exciting, new time.

Probably the biggest difference now is perspective. Youth ministry is a long game. I think I used to believe too much rode on each meeting, I took it too personally when kids were kids and broke the rules, I thought too much hinged on me. It’s really about being a stable, consistent presence, gently pointing young people to God, showing grace, not panicking over things that may seem huge in the moment but in reality fade away quickly. I love that I still love doing it.

Youth ministry is a marathon, not a sprint.

But it does go by fast.

Jesus and John Wayne

Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation, Kristin Kobes Du Mez.

Wow. This is an important book.

I attended a boarding school in South America during my high school years. During the few years I was there, multiple missionaries were removed from the mission for sexual abuse of children. For close to twenty years I genuinely believed I had happened to be at the school during a weird time and that that kind of abuse couldn’t be the norm. Then a decade or so social media changed the conversation. Hundreds of former students came forward, revealing that in reality, the school had been the site of rampant abuse for decades. What I had thought was a blip was actually a systemic failure. It was a gut wrenching realization.

I had the same experience reading this book.

So many of the stories shared in this history of Christian nationalism in America were moments I remembered being uncomfortable with at the time, but then moving on and not considering their lasting impact. Having it all laid out reveals a far more serious picture of spiritual unhealth and spiraling patterns. Du Mez has done an incredible job of presenting history, walking the reader through the progression of dangerous trends in the American church.

This book is an important one. It would be easy to ignore or reject it because of the uncomfortable realities it reveals, but my hope is that it will spark conversations, trigger questions, and drive critical self evaluation. The church has reformed in the past, something we celebrate and honor. We can do so again.

All that to say, yes, I highly recommend this book.

Book Review Roundup

Some short takes on four books I’ve read over the last couple months:

God and the Pandemic, N.T. Wright. I really wish I had read this when it first came out! Wright does such an effective job of both navigating scripture and addressing the real pain of the pandemic. He challenges the reader to respond like Christ, while cautioning that sadly, for too many “the coronavirus is providing people with a megaphone with which to say, more loudly, what they were wanting to say anyway.” (p.7) He challenges readers to be humble, to have perspective, and live out God’s calling to love our neighbors even if it means sacrificing our preferences. He askes the questions, “Who is going to be at special risk when this happens? What can we do to help? and who shall we send?” (p.32) I really appreciated the heart in this short book; definitely worth checking out!

Gay Girl, Good God, Jackie Hill Perry. Perry’s book was not what I expected; it was much more than a discussion about her transition from being a lesbian to marriage to her husband. It is the story of her life, the abuse she endured, how she navigated sexuality, the story of her coming to know Christ, and eventually the story of the relationship with her husband. She writes that “being born human meant that I had the capacity for affection and logic. Being born sinful meant both were inherently broken.” (p.21) I thought how she told the story of addressing her brokenness was beautiful. My one frustration was that for much of the book it came across as though becoming a Christian meant a natural transition from gay to straight. It wasn’t until the end of the book that Perry acknowledged that while that was her experience, it certainly isn’t true of everyone. Rather than being a book about sexuality, Gay Girl, Good God, is the story of Perry’s faith journey, and as such it is moving to read. I highly recommend.

Embodied: Transgender Identities, the Church, and What the Bible Has to Say, Preston Sprinkle. I’ve enjoyed Sprinkle’s writing over the years (Erasing Hell is one that stands out), but I was frustrated with this one. Sprinkle’s strength is in humanizing the stories of transgender people, but by his own admission, his weakness is that he is neither a doctor or a psychologist. Too often I felt he was either picking the research he agreed with and ignoring the ones he doesn’t, or attempting to interpret complex medical research that is above his pay grade. Having said that, I was surprised on his stance on pronouns and names (given the preceding chapters and his conclusions in general about transgender issues). I appreciate the argument he makes from scripture on why using someone’s chosen pronouns is both respectful to the person and in line with scripture. Overall, though, if someone is going to read just one book on this topic, then I would recommend Mark Yarhouse’s Understanding Gender Dysphoria. As a theologian and a practicing psychologist, Yarhouse does an incredible job of balancing both scripture, science, and his decades of direct experience working with people.

Engaging Generation Z: Raising the Bar for Youth Ministry, Tim McKnight. I found myself highlighting a lot of passages in McKnight’s book. It’s a great resource for learning more about Gen Z, how they think, and ways to reach them. I appreciated his comments on page 83 that teens want to be challenged with spiritual meat; that we don’t need to be dumbing down the material for them. He addresses an issue that I think is particularly relevant for churches to confront; he points out that Gen Z is the most “racially and ethnically diverse generation in American history.” (p.36) As such, they are that much more aware of how the church responds to race issues – and it has become a major stumbling block for them. I know I’ve seen this directly with the teens in our church and their frustration on how they’ve seen many adults in our congregation interact around this topic and other topics over the last year on social media. McKnight gives a lot of great insight on healthy approaches to student ministry, practical tips, and more. It’s definitely worth checking out if you are in student ministry.

Talking Back to Purity Culture [book review]

Rachel Joy Welcher’s Talking Back to Purity Culture: Rediscovering Faithful Christian Sexuality takes a look at the Purity Culture many in Gen X grew up with, the impact of it, and discusses how Christians could have a healthier approach to conversations and teachings around sexuality. I think she presents a strong case for the weaknesses and damage caused by a legalistic approach while at the same time giving great insights on how believers can both hold to scripture while letting go of the judgement and damaging rhetoric.

I loved this particular quote from the book: “Purity culture’s main problem is not that it is too conservative but that it is too worldly. Sex is not about self, and abstinence is anything but sexy. Dressing it up as such is not only confusing, it’s discouraging. When our children realize that pursuing sexual purity is incredibly difficult, they will wonder why we didn’t prepare them. Sometimes we think God needs us to dangle carrots in front of people in order to make his message palatable, when he has called us to preach a gospel of foolishness to those who are perishing, a message so offensive to our pride that we must either reject the Son or fall at his feet.” (Kindle location 2722)

From my own experience, the legalistic, purity culture approach to teaching on sexuality lays a foundation that sets young people up to believe that they are either choosing God or sexual activity. Statistically, we know that Christian young people tend to be sexually active at similar rates to non-churched young people. This legalistic approach to teaching on sex does not scare them into good behavior; it instead leads them to believe that they have fundamentally rejected God and now it’s too late. Welcher writes powerfully on this, exposing the damage and ramifications of such an approach.

Unlike many books that just focus on the negative aspects of purity culture and leave the reader wondering if there is anything they can do instead, short of giving up and allowing for a sexual ethic that is indistinguishable from the world around us, Welcher does give far healthier approaches to viewing sexuality and discussing it based on scripture. Overall, I think she has written an important book for anyone in a position of leadership – whether as a teacher, youth worker, pastor, or parent. Definitely worth reading!