Why All-Nighters?

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All-Nighters take me out for days. Sore muscles, foggy brain, exhausted body. Is it worth it?

I remember years ago reading a survey of thousands of teens from youth groups around the country; when it came to popular fun events, all-nighters were ahead of the competition by a landslide. Based on my experience, the results would be the same today if they did that survey again. And it makes sense; think back to when you were thirteen, fifteen years old – being able to say you stayed up all night was exciting, it was cool, it was something to brag to your friends about. It was a sort of test of endurance.

Why is it worth it? These events are over the top and exciting for adolescents. They’re cool, and the critical ministries we want kids in week after week become cool by association. Teens may not think of it in terms like that, but the over the top events like retreats and all-nighters do create a reputation of being the place to be – I want teens bragging to their friends about the events we do, I want them posting on their social media about it. All-nighters are an investment, both financially and physically, in our Wednesday night small groups and Sunday morning large group ties.

Here’s the thing, we do that same kind of attractional event for adults, don’t we? Concerts, picnics, holiday parties – we may use language like fellowship to explain their value, but at the core it’s the same, isn’t it? Our church becomes exciting to our adult crowd in part because of these concerts, picnics and parties. They may not be spelled out in the Bible, but we see the Biblical value in doing them. The same is true of all-nighters.

They’re not just about fun, there is real, ongoing value to doing them. They are a powerful investment in the critical ministry that happens in our small groups and Sunday mornings.

Sometimes I Read Books

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I read some amazing books. Here’s what I think of them:

Terraform: Building a Better World by Propaganda. This book is so good. Seriously good. Using the metaphor of terraforming, Propaganda makes a case for being active participants in remaking and repairing the broken parts of our culture and world. With a mix of poetry and writing, he passionately calls out where we need to put our work. I found myself highlighting my way through the book; here’s a couple that jump out at me:

“Christians of that time had an understanding of a person’s origin, value, and functionality and thus built a world from that perspective. However, the world they created, for all the relative good that came about, was catastrophic to their neighbors, their fellow earthlings, who lived around the world. I want to challenge you to tell better stories not only about yourself but about the people around you.” (p.15)

“The evangelical—well, let me be specific, the white Western evangelical, and let me be even more specific, white Western evangelical as a social construct, and white not as ethnicity but as white-ness, evangelical not as faith but subcultural demographic—this person tends to take the opt-out approach. Almost as if the solution to an evil empire is to build their own version of empire. Christian schools, coffee shops, health insurance, chicken sandwiches, music, festivals, you name it, there’s a Christian version. If you work it right, you could go through an entire day and never be in contact with any non-Christian person or business.” (p.163)

It’s thought provoking. Challenging. Convicting. A beautiful call to action. Propaganda is gifted when it comes to words and his book is a must read.

Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson. Wilkerson’s history of America is a powerful case for a caste system rooted in our history, culture, systems, and attitudes. The stories, our history, are jarring and horrifying, often untold but so important to recognize. As someone with a bachelor’s degree in history – with an emphasis in American history – it is often jarring to me to increasingly realize how selective what I’ve been taught has been. It is hard to argue with Wilkerson’s thesis; there is a caste system rooted in our country and there is powerful resistance to recognizing that.

I loved this quote from the beginning of the book: “

We in the developed world are like homeowners who inherited a house on a piece of land that is beautiful on the outside, but whose soil is unstable loam and rock, heaving and contracting over generations, cracks patched but the deeper ruptures waved away for decades, centuries even. Many people may rightly say, “I had nothing to do with how this all started. I have nothing to do with the sins of the past. My ancestors never attacked indigenous people, never owned slaves.” And, yes. Not one of us was here when this house was built. Our immediate ancestors may have had nothing to do with it, but here we are, the current occupants of a property with stress cracks and bowed walls and fissures built into the foundation. We are the heirs to whatever is right or wrong with it. We did not erect the uneven pillars or joists, but they are ours to deal with now.” (p.16)

There is much to do in our nation. It is our responsibility to deal with it. Wilkerson’s book is a must read.

Separated by the Border: A Birth Mother, a Foster Mother, and a Migrant Child’s 3,000-Mile Journey by Gena Thomas. Such an important book. It tells the stories of two women, both immigrants; one from the United States and the ease of that process, one from Latin America and the horrors of that process. Reading this story of a woman’s 3000 mile journey, the dangers, the sexual assaults, the horror of her child being taken away, the kidnappers … and all of it being worth the risk to escape what she was facing at home … too often we dehumanize those who arrive at our borders, viewing them as a problem we want to go away without asking what makes all of those horrors an acceptable risk to each of those hopefuls seeking asylum. A number of us read this book before and after our mission trip to McAllen, Texas, this past summer.

It’s a powerful book and we could all benefit from knowing more than what gets written in the headlines. Definitely worth reading.

Another Book Review Roundup

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Some more short takes on four books I’ve read recently:

Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood, Lisa Damour. I really appreciate Dr. Damour’s books about teenage girls. In Untangled, she does a great job of helping the reader to understand the critical steps an adolescent girl needs to take as she heads toward adulthood, as well as give parents tools to both understand what is happening and how to help guide that process. She gives great advice, challenges readers to help guide young women to confidence and assertiveness, and helps navigate healthy approaches to processing emotions. One thing that jumped out at me as a parent of four adolescent boys was the concept of externalization; “a technical term describing how teenagers sometimes manage their feelings by getting their parents to have their feelings instead.” (p.85) In other words, it’s too overwhelming to feel the frustration, fear, or anger in a situation so they let their parents feel it instead – something I recognize in hindsight happening all the time with my teens and other teens! Definitely a good book for anyone parenting adolescent girls or working with adolescent girls. Strongly recommend!

How (NOT) to Read the Bible: Making Sense of the Anti-Women, Anti-Science, Pro-Violence, Pro-Slavery and Other Crazy-Sounding Parts of Scripture, Dan Kimball. Spoiler alert: I will be recommending this book this summer to those who attend our Summer Series class on the Bible called “The Book.” Kimball did a great job creating a solid resource for Christians on understanding the Bible, how we got it, the different cultural and contextual impacts in understanding it, and how to read it in our modern culture. I don’t land in the same place as he does in every question he tackles, but the areas where I would take a different approach are ones where we can still be in unity in our pursuit of God despite our different interpretations. It’s a great introduction to many of the topics that confuse or frustrate readers of the Bible. His writing style makes it readable for adults and teens. Definitely worth checking out!

The Making of Biblical Womanhood, Beth Allison Barr. Dr. Barr, an associate professor of history at University of North Carolina, and the associate dean of the Graduate School at Baylor University, put together a compelling work with this book. She writes, “Patriarchy exists in the Bible because the Bible was written in a patriarchal world. Historically speaking, there is nothing surprising about biblical stories and passages riddled with patriarchal attitudes and actions. What is surprising is how many biblical passages and stories undermine, rather than support, patriarchy.” (p.36) Barr does a thorough job of addressing questions around the role of women and the Bible’s stance, the roots of patriarchy, and what place is has today. She used her expertise in ancient cultures to shed new light on controversial passages in scripture that was fascinating. Regardless of where you stand on the topic of women’s roles in church and ministry, this is an important book to read and process.

Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free, Linda Kay Klein. This is one of those books that I highlighted my way through. So. Many. Highlights. Granted, what Klein calls out is exactly what I grew up in – and drove me away from the faith for a season of my life. On page 14, while introducing the book, Klein writes, “The purity message is not about sex. Rather, it is about us: who we are, who we are expected to be, and who it is said we will become if we fail to meet those expectations. This is the language of shame.” Through interviews, her own story, and extensive research, Klein does an incredible job of mapping out both the issues around the topic of purity culture and the damage brought by it. It was the first time I read the term “Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS),” which mimics PTSD, and a host of other similar disorders, but I recognized it immediately in what I and many of my peers experienced. I think what she has written is important and well worth reading.

Twenty Years

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Twenty years. It goes by fast.

In March, 2001, I became a full time youth pastor.

Heather and I had been married for a handful of months and had just found out we were expecting our first child. He would end up being two days old at our first anniversary – definitively NOT part of our five year plan, but we like him so it turn out okay. My youth group at the time thought they had input in naming him and seemed to think “Cletus the Fetus” was a legitimate option. We politely declined. You’re welcome, Micah. Now he’s in college and some of those teens have kids closing in on youth group age. It goes by fast.

We have four sons total. There was a brief window last summer where they were all in the youth group at the same time; our youngest moved up to sixth grade, our oldest hadn’t left for college yet. Having my own kids in the group is amazing. I like to joke with other youth pastors that it’s like having my own brutally honest focus group.

I feel like I should be listing all of the things I’ve learned over the years. Honestly, though, it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. I’m still learning, I’m still figuring it out, I’m still wrapping my mind around what youth ministry is.

As a parent of teens now, I have to confess that young youth pastor me would have driven current me crazy. Lousy communication, last minute notice about events, a little too confident at times. I had a lot to learn.

But there’s also an incredible nostalgia that comes with watching the old videos from those days and looking at the photos. It was such an exciting, new time.

Probably the biggest difference now is perspective. Youth ministry is a long game. I think I used to believe too much rode on each meeting, I took it too personally when kids were kids and broke the rules, I thought too much hinged on me. It’s really about being a stable, consistent presence, gently pointing young people to God, showing grace, not panicking over things that may seem huge in the moment but in reality fade away quickly. I love that I still love doing it.

Youth ministry is a marathon, not a sprint.

But it does go by fast.

Jesus and John Wayne

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Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation, Kristin Kobes Du Mez.

Wow. This is an important book.

I attended a boarding school in South America during my high school years. During the few years I was there, multiple missionaries were removed from the mission for sexual abuse of children. For close to twenty years I genuinely believed I had happened to be at the school during a weird time and that that kind of abuse couldn’t be the norm. Then a decade or so social media changed the conversation. Hundreds of former students came forward, revealing that in reality, the school had been the site of rampant abuse for decades. What I had thought was a blip was actually a systemic failure. It was a gut wrenching realization.

I had the same experience reading this book.

So many of the stories shared in this history of Christian nationalism in America were moments I remembered being uncomfortable with at the time, but then moving on and not considering their lasting impact. Having it all laid out reveals a far more serious picture of spiritual unhealth and spiraling patterns. Du Mez has done an incredible job of presenting history, walking the reader through the progression of dangerous trends in the American church.

This book is an important one. It would be easy to ignore or reject it because of the uncomfortable realities it reveals, but my hope is that it will spark conversations, trigger questions, and drive critical self evaluation. The church has reformed in the past, something we celebrate and honor. We can do so again.

All that to say, yes, I highly recommend this book.

Book Review Roundup

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Some short takes on four books I’ve read over the last couple months:

God and the Pandemic, N.T. Wright. I really wish I had read this when it first came out! Wright does such an effective job of both navigating scripture and addressing the real pain of the pandemic. He challenges the reader to respond like Christ, while cautioning that sadly, for too many “the coronavirus is providing people with a megaphone with which to say, more loudly, what they were wanting to say anyway.” (p.7) He challenges readers to be humble, to have perspective, and live out God’s calling to love our neighbors even if it means sacrificing our preferences. He askes the questions, “Who is going to be at special risk when this happens? What can we do to help? and who shall we send?” (p.32) I really appreciated the heart in this short book; definitely worth checking out!

Gay Girl, Good God, Jackie Hill Perry. Perry’s book was not what I expected; it was much more than a discussion about her transition from being a lesbian to marriage to her husband. It is the story of her life, the abuse she endured, how she navigated sexuality, the story of her coming to know Christ, and eventually the story of the relationship with her husband. She writes that “being born human meant that I had the capacity for affection and logic. Being born sinful meant both were inherently broken.” (p.21) I thought how she told the story of addressing her brokenness was beautiful. My one frustration was that for much of the book it came across as though becoming a Christian meant a natural transition from gay to straight. It wasn’t until the end of the book that Perry acknowledged that while that was her experience, it certainly isn’t true of everyone. Rather than being a book about sexuality, Gay Girl, Good God, is the story of Perry’s faith journey, and as such it is moving to read. I highly recommend.

Embodied: Transgender Identities, the Church, and What the Bible Has to Say, Preston Sprinkle. I’ve enjoyed Sprinkle’s writing over the years (Erasing Hell is one that stands out), but I was frustrated with this one. Sprinkle’s strength is in humanizing the stories of transgender people, but by his own admission, his weakness is that he is neither a doctor or a psychologist. Too often I felt he was either picking the research he agreed with and ignoring the ones he doesn’t, or attempting to interpret complex medical research that is above his pay grade. Having said that, I was surprised on his stance on pronouns and names (given the preceding chapters and his conclusions in general about transgender issues). I appreciate the argument he makes from scripture on why using someone’s chosen pronouns is both respectful to the person and in line with scripture. Overall, though, if someone is going to read just one book on this topic, then I would recommend Mark Yarhouse’s Understanding Gender Dysphoria. As a theologian and a practicing psychologist, Yarhouse does an incredible job of balancing both scripture, science, and his decades of direct experience working with people.

Engaging Generation Z: Raising the Bar for Youth Ministry, Tim McKnight. I found myself highlighting a lot of passages in McKnight’s book. It’s a great resource for learning more about Gen Z, how they think, and ways to reach them. I appreciated his comments on page 83 that teens want to be challenged with spiritual meat; that we don’t need to be dumbing down the material for them. He addresses an issue that I think is particularly relevant for churches to confront; he points out that Gen Z is the most “racially and ethnically diverse generation in American history.” (p.36) As such, they are that much more aware of how the church responds to race issues – and it has become a major stumbling block for them. I know I’ve seen this directly with the teens in our church and their frustration on how they’ve seen many adults in our congregation interact around this topic and other topics over the last year on social media. McKnight gives a lot of great insight on healthy approaches to student ministry, practical tips, and more. It’s definitely worth checking out if you are in student ministry.

Talking Back to Purity Culture [book review]

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Rachel Joy Welcher’s Talking Back to Purity Culture: Rediscovering Faithful Christian Sexuality takes a look at the Purity Culture many in Gen X grew up with, the impact of it, and discusses how Christians could have a healthier approach to conversations and teachings around sexuality. I think she presents a strong case for the weaknesses and damage caused by a legalistic approach while at the same time giving great insights on how believers can both hold to scripture while letting go of the judgement and damaging rhetoric.

I loved this particular quote from the book: “Purity culture’s main problem is not that it is too conservative but that it is too worldly. Sex is not about self, and abstinence is anything but sexy. Dressing it up as such is not only confusing, it’s discouraging. When our children realize that pursuing sexual purity is incredibly difficult, they will wonder why we didn’t prepare them. Sometimes we think God needs us to dangle carrots in front of people in order to make his message palatable, when he has called us to preach a gospel of foolishness to those who are perishing, a message so offensive to our pride that we must either reject the Son or fall at his feet.” (Kindle location 2722)

From my own experience, the legalistic, purity culture approach to teaching on sexuality lays a foundation that sets young people up to believe that they are either choosing God or sexual activity. Statistically, we know that Christian young people tend to be sexually active at similar rates to non-churched young people. This legalistic approach to teaching on sex does not scare them into good behavior; it instead leads them to believe that they have fundamentally rejected God and now it’s too late. Welcher writes powerfully on this, exposing the damage and ramifications of such an approach.

Unlike many books that just focus on the negative aspects of purity culture and leave the reader wondering if there is anything they can do instead, short of giving up and allowing for a sexual ethic that is indistinguishable from the world around us, Welcher does give far healthier approaches to viewing sexuality and discussing it based on scripture. Overall, I think she has written an important book for anyone in a position of leadership – whether as a teacher, youth worker, pastor, or parent. Definitely worth reading!

 

 

Under Pressure [book review]

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Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls by Dr. Lisa DaMour is an important book. Just from my own anecdotal experience of being a youth pastor for what will be twenty years in a couple months, I have noticed anxiety skyrocketing in adolescent girls in the last five years.

Drawing on her training, research, and years of experience working with girls, DaMour effectively lays out the challenges for adolescent girls, the rise in stress and anxiety, and a lot of insight on how girls handle it and its impacts on them. I think she also does a great job on giving insights on how to help girls navigate their stress and anxiety.

The most surprising thought she put forward? “Here’s the first thing we can do to help our daughters take control of anxiety: we can teach them that anxiety is often their friend.” (p.13) Surprised? So was I, but as she goes on to explain, anxiety is our natural alert system – when we learn to trust it rather than fear it, it can be a great tool for giving us insight on what’s going on around us or issues that we need to deal with. At the same time, it can also be a concerning issue. DaMour does a great job contrasting the two and giving tools for recognizing when it’s healthy and when it’s concerning.

Overall, I thought it was an important book and definitely worth reading for parents and those who work with girls. My one frustration was that at times it almost seemed like DaMour painted boys with a broad brush that suggested they don’t have struggles or that adolescence is far easier for them. As with girls, over the last five years I have seen surprising rises in stress, eating disorders, self harm and suicidal tendencies with boys as well – it just manifests differently. All that being said, it’s definitely an important read.

2020 Writing in Review

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2020 has had a lot of challenges … but it was a fun year for being published! I had a chapter in a book, saw sixteen curriculum resources release, and had nineteen games and other media type resources release. I should probably clarify that I did not create all of this in 2020; some of these were resources I had submitted in 2018 and 2019. It takes anywhere from a couple weeks to a couple years for things to go through the publishing process. Another fun development this year was teaming up with different family members; both Noah (Hua Mulan) and Zach (Guinea Pig Party) had ideas for games that we put together during quarantine. Heather was the brains behind the Caption Challenge and Hashtag games, both of which have been far more popular than anything I have come up with, as well as the one who came up with the idea for Insta Devos. And Micah helped me with Actin’ Sus, which will probably retain the title of best selling youth ministry resource by a McNutt until the end of time. Anyway, if you’re interested, click on them to check them out!

The Book:

Available at Download Youth Ministry:

Curriculum

                

Games & Media

                                    

Published with The Youth Cartel, now available at Download Youth Ministry:

         

Seven Year Teaching Plan

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In the most recent episode of my podcast, “Kinda Interesting: Thoughts on Youth Ministry,” I talk about our seven year teaching plan. Essentially, I wanted to tackle three things with our Sunday morning teaching time over the seven years we have a student in our youth ministry (6th-12th grade); core truths that we really want to drive home, topical issues relevant to the group’s needs, and biblical literacy. You can check it out here.

Having stayed committed to this plan for more than a decade now, I’m increasingly happy with it. It’s flexible enough that we really are able to roll with what’s happening in culture, needs of the group, and strengths of the teachers. At the same time, it gives enough structure that we have to give our topic selections a lot of thought and care so that we can meet our big picture goals. Finally, I love the thought that for several years now, any graduate that has been at our church for middle school and high school will have graduated with teaching from every book of the Bible.

Where do I get the materials? Primarily through a handful of companies I’ve come to trust over the years; Youth Specialties, The Live Curriculum, The Youth Cartel, and Download Youth Ministry. In addition, we’ve created some studies for books of the Bible that I couldn’t find materials elsewhere for.

Here’s the overview:

  • Core Truths (yearly, 11 weeks). These are the teachings we land on every year – if teens don’t remember anything else when they graduate, at least they’ll know these eleven lessons. Within this broader category, there are two main themes; our church values and purpose (Know, Grow, Go) inform us of why we gather, while the HABITS series gives the spiritual disciplines that tell us how to follow God.
    • Our Purpose
      • Fellowship (‘we are real people’)
      • Worship (‘in love with a real God’)
      • Discipleship (‘in love with a real God’)
      • Evangelism (‘making a real difference in the world’)
      • Service (‘making a real difference in the world’)
    • HABITS
      • Hang time with God (quiet time)
      • Accountability
      • Bible study and memorization
      • Involvement in church
      • Tithing
      • Sacraments (communion, baptism)
  • Topical (yearly, 17 weeks). This is the category that gets the most flexibility year by year. Basically, it’s age specific, felt need topics (e.g., the place our group is in right now leads us to talk about this). Some topics will probably be repeated every year (dating, sex, peer pressure).
  • Biblical Literacy (23 weeks). This is the bigger picture piece of the puzzle. One of our church values as a whole is Biblical literacy, and our concern that as a culture we are becoming less and less familiar with the scriptures. Towards that end, over the course of seven years we will give students an overview of the whole Bible, working our way through every book (in varying degrees of depth). If you look at the plan, you’ll see that we’re working our way systematically through the Old Testament while bouncing around the New Testament.