Talking to Kids about Gender Identity by Mark Yarhouse

Mark Yarhouse continues to be my favorite author on sexuality and adolescence. Such a strong balance of theological knowledge and professional counseling experience and insights.

In Talking to Kids about Gender Identity, Yarhouse does a great job of explaining the major concepts and labels surrounding gender identity to parents as well as giving solid advice on how to have conversations with their children. What is helpful is the combination of real world stories and hypothetical conversations where he helps parents see effective and ineffective approaches they can take.

Yarhouse writes, “Our exchanges should be a mixture of convictions, civility, and compassion, and we should pray for wisdom, discernment, and prudence in how we carry and embody this mixture in our exchanges with others and in what we model for our children.” (p57) He goes on to say, “Whenever we speak about ‘what God thinks’ about something – anything – we should do so with humility, because we may not get it perfectly right.” (p60) I believe he draws a good roadmap for parents to follow in understanding the topic and in preparing parents for conversations with their kids.

I found myself highlighting my way through the book and see myself referring to these highlights time and again. I definitely recommend this book to any parents looking for help in understanding gender identity and talking with their kids about it. In reality, with how much children and teens are hearing and talking about gender identity, parents in general would do well to be proactive and read this kind of book while their kids are young so they are in a better place to navigate conversations before they happen.

2023 Writing in Review

2023 is a wrap! It was a fun year for writing; I got to be a part of the launch for Coleader, the new curriculum resource from the crew behind Download Youth Ministry, as well as continue creating for DYM. 2023 saw ten curriculum resources released on Coleader, as well as two for the Coleader Roadmaps (I wrote HABITS, rewrote Rewind), six curriculum resources released at DYM, 34 games and 17 countdown video resources published on Download Youth Ministry. My youngest, Zach, was the brains behind Adam’s Name Game, Heather cocreated Hashtag Bunny Bounce. It was definitely the year of the Dancing Beast – those countdown videos were downloaded and reviewed waaay more than I ever would have anticipated. Click the images below to check everything out!

Coleader Curriculum Series:

Adam and Eve title image  The Chronicler  Esther_title_image  Ezra title image  Genesis_title_image  Joshua_Strong_and_Courageous_blog  life the universe  Micah_title  nehemiah  Ruth_title_image

Coleader Roadmaps:

habits  rewind

Download Youth Ministry Curriculum:

Esther_title_image  Genesis_title_image  life the universe  Nehemiah title image  Greatest_Commandment_title_image  Potter_title_image

Download Youth Ministry Games & Media:

Adam's Name Game title image  Bodacious Loquacious title image  boomer bundle title image  Boomer VS Zoomer title image  Eighties Trivia The Return title image  Happy Halloween Trivia title image  Hashtag Bunny Bounce title image  J'ACCUSE title image  Mind Reader Round Two title image  Mind Reader Youth Leader title image  Off the Cuff title image  Off the Cuff Vol 2 title image  off the cuff 3  Off the Cuff Back to School title image  Off the Cuff Christmas title image  Off the Cuff Halloween title image  Off the Cuff Summer Vibes title image  Over Under Vol 3 title image  Over Under Vol 4 title image  Over Under Christmas title image  Over Under Halloween title image  Photo_Finish_thumbnail  Photo_Finish_vol2_title_image  Reindeer Party title image  Road Trip Bingo title image  santasfeud  Super Feud title image  Super Feud 2 title image  Useless Trivia Round Two title image  Useless Trivia Round Three title image  Useless Trivia Round Four title image  Victorian Say What title image  Word Race title image  Word Race Round Two title image  air dancer  animal party countdown  arcade  Club Pumpkinhead Countdown title image  Creepy Countdown title image  cyberdance  Cyberpunk Countdown title image  dancing beast  dancing beast 2  dancingbeastchristmas  delorean countdown  gingerbread  baseball countdown  superhero countdown  uselesstriviacountdown  Preview01  80's Astronaut Coundown title image

My Christmas Resources

I have a handful of Christmas resources that I have created – and a couple that Heather created with me – that may be useful during this time of year! The images below are all links to where they are located on the Download Youth Ministry store. Check them out! And come back to this post next week … I’ll be adding some more releases to it as they come out!

God with the Fearful is a one-off message based on Matthew 1:18-25 focusing on God’s promises to Joseph to save him and be with him in his fear. It includes a manuscript, handouts, PowerPoint, and a discussion guide.

God_with_the_Fearful_thumbnail

The following are some games I’ve created that are fun as part of your regular program or a Christmas party (Heather cocreated the Caption Challenge and Hashtag Sleigh Ride games!):

 Christmas Movie Trivia title  Christmas Movie Trivia the Sequel title image    000__Title  The Naughty List title image  Off the Cuff Christmas title image  Over Under Christmas title image  Reindeer Party title image  santasfeud

The following are social media resources, video resources, and Christmas themed countdown videos that can be used in person or online:

   dancingbeastchristmas  gingerbread  Preview01

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Noah and Zach’s 2023 Missions Reports

I always love hearing my sons share about their mission trips! This past June I was on a team with Noah that went to Bethel, Alaska, while Zach went on a mission trip to Billerica, MA. Heather also served as a leader on another team that we sent to Anchorage, Alaska!

Anyway, this post is waaaay overdue! These are the reports they shared with the church on June 25th, 2023.

2022 Writing in Review

2022 is almost a wrap! I continue to have a lot of fun creating youth ministry resources. 2022 saw ten curriculum resources published and 30 game and/or media resources published, all through Download Youth Ministry. My youngest, Zach, was the brains behind both of the Dare Tag 2 and the Mind Reader games. Heather created the Fire countdown video and co-authored the Caption Challenge games with me. Click the images below to check them out!

Curriculum:

Ruth_title_image  Numbers title image  The Chronicler  Samuel_title  Ezra title image  The Transfiguration slide title  Wash Your Hands title  ParableoftheWorkersintheVineyard_title_image  Noah_title_image  Astonishing Authority title image 

Games & Video Resources:

000__Title  Christmas Movie Trivia the Sequel title image  Useless Trivia title image  Dare Tag Round Two title image  Mind Reader title image  Eighties Trivia title image  Trivia from the Nineties title image  Potty Humor title image  Over Under title image  Over Under Vol 2 title image  Smooth Criminals  Prime Time Trivia title image  No Prep Travel Games title image  Cheesy Joke Face-Off  The Stare Down title image  Deadly Animals Round Two  Can You See It - Take Me to the Sequel  Old Wives' Tales title image  000__Title  The Riddler title image  Boomer Say What Vol3 thumbnail  Bard Burns thumbnail  The Stare Down Round 2 thumnail  Caption Challenge Vol5  Living Water video  techno countdown  spiral countdown  trippy countdown  robot dance  Preview01

My Christmas Resources!

I have a handful of Christmas resources that I have created – and a couple that Heather created with me – that may be useful during this time of year! The images below are all links to where they are located on the Download Youth Ministry store. Check them out!

God_with_the_Fearful_thumbnail

God With the Fearful is a one-off Christmas message based on Matthew 1:18-25 focusing on God’s promises to Joseph to save him and be with him in his fear. It includes a message manuscript, handouts, discussion questions, PowerPoint file, and images for social media.

Christmas Movie Trivia title

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Christmas Movie Trivia the Sequel title image
000__Title

Hashtag Sleigh Ride, Christmas Movie Trivia, Christmas Movie Trivia The Sequel, Mind Reader Christmas, and Caption Challenge Christmas Edition are all games that can be played in person or online. Hashtag Sleigh Ride and Caption Challenge Christmas Edition both include versions for Instagram as well! Heather and I co-authored Hashtag Sleigh Ride and Caption Challenge Christmas Edition.

Strange Holidays is a fun collection of seasonal social media images and challenges that can be used, one per week, for the months of December, January, and February! The Christmas Scripture Video five pack has five typography videos with Christmas related scripture passages – at $6 for all five videos, it’s an incredible deal! They are all licensed to be used in person and online, so they can be used as worship elements, or even just social media videos in the buildup to Christmas. See the video below to see what they are:

Reflections on Youth Ministry and Dropping My Son Off at College

This blog post, by me, originally appeared on the Download Youth Ministry blog.

A few weeks ago my wife Heather and I drove away from the university campus we had just left our second son at, tears on both our faces, making the long drive home. Weren’t we just changing his diapers? Our football lineman was once so small.

I’m so thankful to be a youth pastor.

My wife and I jumped into full time ministry 21 years ago as newlyweds. We had our first of four sons three days before our first anniversary. The youth group called him “Cletus the Fetus.” Heather wasn’t as impressed as I was with their baby naming skills. Having my own children move through our student ministry has been an eye-opening and perspective changing experience for me. For a brief moment, all four of them were in our youth group at the same time – now we’re down to just two as the older two have graduated and moved on. Here a just a few reasons I love student ministry as a father and why I think it was so critical for my son we just left at a college too far away:

  • My son loves the church. I couldn’t say the same when I was a teen. In fact, it was right around his age that I swore off faith altogether. I was a pastor’s kid who hated what I had seen and experienced. My wife and I have always had as one of our barometers for health whether our kids like our church – not just the children’s ministry or the student ministry, but the church as a whole.
  • My son has a crew of loving Christian adults in his life. Mama Lin (Willie), Ed, and Figgy (Mike) spent the last seven years as his small group leader, showing up to events, visiting him at his job, and listening to all his stories. Those three men created an environment that built trust, loyalty, and incredible spiritual growth with a group of – what seemed at first to be challenging – Christian young men. There’s Kim, Carl, Melissa, and so many more who also serve in our student ministry. The best part? I got to choose them. I’m the youth pastor. Why do I put so much care into who is a part of our student ministry? How often do we get the opportunity to choose the adults who influence our children?
  • My son knows how to serve, to lead, to study scripture, to have accountability, to find other believers. He’s not perfect. I’m sure there are going to be moments in his college experience I would rather not know about. But I got to plan the seven years of his student ministry; it’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon, and staying in one place for all these years meant I got to see it through from beginning to end. I have seen my son lead worship, I’ve launched him off the blob, I’ve done street evangelism with him in Costa Rica, we’ve fed the homeless together on the border with Mexico, I’ve wrestled and beat him many times … and been beaten by him a few times in recent months.

Youth ministry is a gift. We get to be present during the most transformative time in peoples’ lives. Everything is bigger, everything is exploding, everything is new. And we get to be there. We get to see children go from concrete thinkers emulating their parents to teens processing and making their faith their own. My house is quieter than I would like now, but I feel good about where my son is at, literally and figuratively. I couldn’t imagine not having been his youth pastor!

2022 Student Missions Reports

Yesterday was our annual student missions report Sunday! This year we had 91 students and adults participate in our three trips. The highlight for Heather and I, though, was our three sons in the video above. Zach shared about his experience on the Niagara Falls trip (YouthWorks), Noah shared about his experience on the Blue […]

Skit Guys’ Family Camp movie review

The Skit Guys’ new movie, Family Camp, is a must see! Such a fun, family friendly film! The concept of the movie, a church family camp, is the perfect story for Tommy Woodard and Eddie James to shine. I’ll be honest, most faith-based movies rub me kind of wrong; they tend to be cheesy, predictable, or overly preachy. Family Camp manages to avoid those traps while still telling a story with a message, one I can’t wait to watch again.

I loved the humor. Great lines, hilarious physical comedy, a story that wasn’t predictable – it kept my family riveted to the screen. I loved that both actors had imperfect characters; at first glance I thought it was going to be black and white, one would be the example, the other the warning. Instead, they both had struggles and both had storylines teaching a powerful lesson about marriage – without being preachy or cheesy.

Our group took over an entire screening and it was a hit with everyone – every generation enjoyed the film. It’s definitely worth checking out. Seeing it on the big screen is the way to go! The Skit Guys’ succeeded in not just making a great faith-based film, they made a great movie.

Check out the free Family Camp movie discussion guide available at DYM!

Lead Them to Jesus: A Handbook for Youthworkers

Lead Them to Jesus: A Handbook for Youthworkers, by Mike McGarry, is another must read by McGarry. It truly is a handbook, a strong resource for both the professional youthworker and the members of the volunteer team. At only 192 pages, it is an easy read. McGarry divides the book into two sections; the first half walks the reader through 17 critical biblical truths. I love this section; if you’ve ever been caught off guard by a student with questions about why God allows suffering, who is God, what happens when someone commits suicide, and so on, this handbook provides a quick reference point to find answers.

The second half of the book tackles practical help for the youthworker; how to start a youth ministry, handling discipline, planning a calendar, talking about sex – there are 23 short chapters with topics like these. Super helpful for the new youth worker, but also a great refresher for the experienced leader as well.

Throughout the book the reader sees McGarry’s love for the integrity and importance of scripture. I love his admonition, “Patiently teaching good theology to students, however, makes a significant impact because it shapes their view of God. Don’t underestimate what teenagers (yes, even middle school boys) are able to comprehend.” Too many think the Bible needs to be dumbed down or simplified for young people – all this does is teach them to not take it seriously. Young people are hungry for depth, for truth.

Lead Them to Jesus: A Handbook for Youthworkers is an important resource. It’s a great tool for a leader to get for each of their team members, both as a reference guide as issues and needs come up, but also as a training tool to work through together. I highly recommend!