A phrase I have found deeply troubling in recent years is that of ‘toxic empathy.’ It’s usually used as a criticism, that people are using empathy to take advantage of Christians or manipulate people into doing things they don’t agree with.
My frustration? The cries of toxic empathy feel more like an excuse to not do something we don’t want to do because it would cost in some way rather than a concern that we are being manipulated. When I look at scripture, it seems over and over that we are to err on the side of grace. Give to those in need even if we’re not sure they’re actually in need; it’s better to accidentally give to a few taking advantage then to leave the many starving.
Jesus said this, “Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back.” (Luke 6:30, NLT) It’s hard to rationalize a different course from His direct command.
What has me thinking about all this?
I recently read NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity by Steve Silberman. In it he records the history of treatment, good and bad. of those with mental handicaps. A moment in Germany’s history jumped out at me:
The Nazis were also escalating their propaganda war against the residents of Austria’s mental institutions. The official newspaper of the NSDAP, the Nazi party, featured full-page spreads of grinning “idiots,” zombielike “lunatics,” and dysmorphic babies under headlines about the “cruelty of compassion” and the blessings of forced sterilization. (Kindle location 2337)
The ‘cruelty of compassion’ rings far too similar to ‘toxic empathy’ for me. The Nazi’s put too death far too many people with mental and physical limitations. The language helped to dehumanize and rationalize away doing the right thing.
I would far rather be guilty of showing too much empathy than someday stand before God and struggle to answer why I refused to show grace, kindness, generosity.
“Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons. For I was hungry, and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink. I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’ “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’ “And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’” Matthew 25: 41-45 (NLT)
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